MOTHER SPIRIT NEBADONIA -- JUNE 28, 2004
Prayer: Mother and Father, we are grateful for this opportunity
to come into your presence to receive you. You are always
available to us when we turn our attention to you. We ask
for our minds to be blended with yours so that we can receive
much more of you into our beings this evening. Thank you.
Good evening, my beloved children. This is your Mother Nebadonia
who speaks. Before you lies a great opportunity of service.
And one that this planet has long asked for as it emerges
from the shadow of a strife-filled history. To beam your Father
Michael’s love into the hearts of our children is no
small feat for it will take you into places of your own inner
depths that you have not traversed in finding new places of
soulful expression to depict our love for our children. We
will be creating new pathways within you to express this.
I know you are ready, and I know you have all in your own
way stepped forward to do this. So receive me now as I move
in you and create more room for your Father’s love to
exist and to flow. (Pause)
You, as the workers in the field, are being called to the
harvest. The time is now, for as you know, your world is in
great fluctuation and turmoil. The lives of your brothers
and sisters, when they face the disruption, will need you
at whatever level you can assist them to calm and comfort
them, and have them see something of greater hope and beauty
lies in the face what appears to calamitous. So before we
embark on the experiential exercise for this evening, I wish
to hear your comments of the experience of last week and what
you gained as you went about your Father’s business
between now and then.
Student: Mother, I had a week of remembering a lot of love
and support to my friend who is in a lot of physical pain.
I met him yesterday and he looked great. He was in high spirits
even though he is in pain. He’s finding a way of going
to a special hospital that specializes in control of pain
so he’s taking an active role. He seemed in really good
spirits, and I remembered what you said to tell him that I
was praying for him. He beamed at me and said thank you very
much. He’s praying for himself many times a day. He
seems to be on the right path.
Nebadonia: And I know you will continue your prayers for
him, as this is what will keep him motivated to some degree.
People need to know that there are other people supporting
them, otherwise the faith walk for some individuals becomes
too lonely or burdensome. That you are lifting his spirits
is a wise gesture on your part.
Student: Mother, I spent most of this last week working on
myself, and finding the ways my birth mother treated me when
I was a child, and that I wanted to get at these memories
so that I could heal them; not heal myself but allow myself
to be healed. A lot of that happened this week. It just occurred
to me that I learned a lot about myself and I feel a lot freer
and communicated with you a couple of times to assist me in
removing some fears and other pettiness in my spiritual growth.
And it happened! And I thank you very much.
Nebadonia: As you find more freedom in your mind and body,
you will more naturally remember these simple exercises that
we teach you. Let yourself be opened and healed, let yourself
be loved during this time so that the love you receive will
eventually be magnified as you beam it to your brothers and
sisters.
Student: I noticed that people like being around me, and
I have a strong temptation that it has something to do with,
and I know it’s not. But my mind keeps thinking that
I’m getting bigger and it seems to me that it’s
an ego trip. It’s Michael’s love and your love
that is attracting people; it’s not me! How do I get
rid of that temptation that it is me?
Nebadonia: But it is you. It is being expressed through you.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying this, accepting this,
and then being happy that you have the capacity to do this.
You recognize the source. If you thought you were the source,
that would be a danger signal. But you know who is the source
and what is the source, and you know you can always tap into
this. You are a conduit. Relax and enjoy being this conduit,
and you will naturally begin to see yourself more as this
conduit and be comfortable as this conduit. The idea that
it is you will blend into what is really happening.
Student: Dear Nebadonia, I had an amazing amount of contacts
all week long. I wasn’t exactly conscious of a procedure,
but it seemed to be more joy giving and receiving. Even on
Saturday I ran into a person I had trouble with several weeks
before and was able to find very friendly exchange. I am grateful
for that.
Nebadonia: As your heart opens, you will find it becomes
so much more easy and available to have these kinds of interchanges
with your brothers and sisters. As you begin to get so comfortable
with being in your heart, will you find more opportunities
presented before you. Stay focused on truly what is the center
of your being and we will move you in new directions of service.
Student: Mother, I noticed over the week the numerous opportunities
to “choose peace” rather than the negativity of
the experience. It could be just as simple as someone intruding
on my privacy and allowing positive energies to come through
and be an expression of myself of love and peace. But I also
am aware of my inability at times to “turn the other
cheek,” as what happened yesterday and this morning.
I felt where I was not being heard or responded to that I
turned to the idea of choosing peace and love, but it still
distorts my experience at the moment. So I see that I still
have a ways to go on this on the idea of self-righteousness
and it’s not a very loving place to be in.
Nebadonia: The more you judge yourself will you feel your
inability to master these lessons continues, and the longer
you will stay in these periods of judging others. When you
take off the extreme burden you are placing on yourself you
will simply acknowledge that you are striving as best you
can to harmonize yourself with your Father. In taking off
the judgments you have placed upon yourself, you will notice
your acceptance, and do you not think that it will translate
into how you see others? Are you willing to do this for yourself?
Student: Yes, because you know what my desire is.
Nebadonia: You will need to look at this very carefully now,
D, and in all of the ways you now judge yourself. I say this
to all of you for this is the crux of the lesson of this evening
as we take you into more experiences of beaming Michael’s
love into our children. What is it that prevents you from
seeing your brethren through our eyes? It is your judgments
and the perspectives that you hold near and dear to your heart.
You must first release yourselves from the judgments you place
upon the individual you are standing in before you can truly
free yourself from the judgments you place upon others. Go
within. Find your desire to be free of self-judgment, self-analysis,
self-criticism. Breathe in my Spirit. We will move in you.
(Pause)
Go deep into those areas of self-criticism, those areas where
you have held yourself hostage to hurtful feelings of self-debasement.
Breathe in me. Breathe...in...me. Your Father’s truth
will show you the living portrait of your soul. How could
you not love who you truly are when you see this? The exterior
self that you perceive through the eyes of judgment is no
longer important. Feel your desire to see the true soul, who
you really are. Only then will you be able to delve more deeply
into your brothers’ and sisters’ souls. (Pause)
As you feel as best you can your true soul-self, pick an
individual whom you know that you perhaps do not understand
or know well or have a contentious relationship with. Feel
your self. When this person is standing in front of you as
you truly are, beam your Father’s love into this individual’s
heart and ask to see their true soul self. (Pause)
Ask me to weave the two of you together in closer relationship,
one that has at its foundation a deeper mutual understanding
and respect for the divine dignity of one another. (Pause)
Placing your hands inside this person’s heart as best
you can in your mind’s eye, simply ask for Michael’s
love to flow. Breathe in me as I move through you. (Pause)
When you are ready, please share with one another the experience
that you felt, particularly in how you now look at this individual
as opposed to when you began the exercise.
Student: Mother, I was thinking of my dear stepdaughter.
The relationship is not all contentious; it’s very loving.
But it’s vexing because my stepdaughter was raised in
a situation with both her parents being very spaced behind
a lot of drugs where only a certain amount of excitement is
valued. Everything gets very excited and starts yelling at
every body else and there’s no communication or listening.
It’s doubly vexing to me because if I’m not hyper-conscious,
I get caught up in it myself. But I think the way out of this
vicious circle is just to listen more and to beam this love
into my stepdaughter because she desperately needs the attention.
This helped me be aware and understand that what she really
needs is someone to actually listen and hear her and respond
to her and help her break this habit of saying the same thing
20 times over. So I think it’s on my part to take the
initiative to beam this love into her so she knows she is
being acknowledged.
Nebadonia: Did you notice how you felt toward her changed
or expanded in any way through the experience of this exercise?
Student: Yes, I think that rather than being vexed at this
repetition that she gets into, seeing that it’s up to
me to take the initiative and reassure her that this is what
she really needs and desperately hungry for. This was something
so denied her by her normal parents. She needs to be loved
and acknowledged for a person in her own right.
Nebadonia: But what about your need to express this love
for her – did you feel that it had altered?
Student: Oh very much so, Mother. I just said that rather
than being passive and being vexed with her behavior and wishing
that she would change, taking the initiative myself and I’ve
tried it in the past and she responds very quickly. She stays
out of being argumentative. Some people thrive on a little
petty warfare and melodrama. It’s hard to stay out of
that realm of quarreling and getting excited.
Nebadonia: I am not speaking of what you will do. I am speaking
of how your feelings for her altered through the use of this
exercise. Go deeper. (Pause)
Student: I think I became aware of an enormous bedrock of
love between this person and myself. This is enormous –
this love we have for each other, and we’ve always been
there for each other for the last almost 30 years now. It
helped me see that this is not a contentious relationship
at all, just a little surface vexing, and underneath is an
enormous amount of love. And we do know that about each other.
Nebadonia: So you see how this love has the capacity to overcome
these resentments and judgments, do you not? (Yes) Let this
experience and these words you have spoken deepen within you
now and take you into a new way of expressing this love with
her. (Pause) And be in my peace, my son.
Student: Mother, I noticed that the person I choose that,
after the exercise, was just like me – seeking love
and understanding and security. It changed my interpretation
of how I looked at this person. I didn’t know how quite
to understand my idea of this person and what they are up
to. But it changed my viewpoint of how I look at this person.
It’s much more loving and understanding than it was
before.
Nebadonia: And when you felt this person’s inner turmoil,
how do you feel it shifted your own tendency to self-criticize?
Student: I see that this person is doing the same thing I’m
doing. I notice I have the tendency to criticize myself much
more than I would another person. I’m not exactly sure
I’m answering the question you’ve asked though.
Nebadonia: The question is not for you to answer to me, but
for you to answer to yourself. Think about the words you have
just spoken.
Student: I notice I’m not as defensive and I don’t
want to defend myself from this person as much as I used to
because I begin to understand that it’s the same thing
I’m doing. Maybe they don’t know your love and
Michael’s love quite as much as I do. It’s not
like I’m bragging but just stating a fact. I’ve
always wanted to let other people know how much they are loved
by our Heavenly Father and you and Michael but I never knew
how to do it and I think I’ve found a way to do it now.
Nebadonia: The point of this exercise is not just for you
to feel the other person in a deeper relationship. It is also
for you to become more aware of the person as a teacher for
you to see how you hold yourself hostage to these judgments
and criticisms that you reflect onto another person. Use this
individual to help you overcome that which you know is hurting
this person in yourself. You will be able to conduct more
love into this individual for the reflection of judgment that
you have placed in your way will be diminished and one day
dissolved. Let these words settle into you and deepen the
experience you have had this evening. (Pause) Be in my peace,
my son.
Student: Dear Nebadonia, the person I chose seemed to have
a small physical heart, but also like the sacred heart of
Jesus. Nonetheless it helped me release a great deal of tension
and I was much more willing to love in a Fatherly way. I found
it quite profound and am grateful for that. It seemed to increase,
not so much tolerance, but patience and acceptance. I’m
grateful for the reality that there’s a way of valuing
the soul more because part of that fabric is from the Thought
Adjuster. It’s more exquisite than I’ve ever allowed
myself to imagine for myself and others. I find this really
maturing and I’m grateful. Thank you.
Nebadonia: I would like to take you one step deeper. Are
you willing to go with me now, my son? (Yes, I am.) Go into
your heart center and ask for Michael’s heart to beat
in yours. (Pause) When you see this person in front of you
– this person you used for the exercise – simply
ask for any perceptions that you have about this individual
to recede into the background as Michael flows between the
two of you. (Pause)
Allow the cords of love that are growing there to strengthen.
Allow the relationship in spirit to deepen. I would ask you
to find this place, this depth of experience, when you engage
with your fellows this week. Be very patient and allow enough
time for you to become encircuited before you actively engage
with this individual through words. This will be challenging.
And this does not apply to only those whom you wish to serve.
This applies to every person if you are up to this opportunity
now, my son. For is it not your wish to serve as many people
as possible?
Student: It certainly is. Thanks.
Nebadonia: Do you have any questions?
Student: Only maybe to harmonize my spirit joy with my body
joy. Any advice on that?
Nebadonia: Do you not think this exercise would accomplish
that?
Student: Yes, I can feel it already.
Nebadonia: Focus on this one thing. That will keep you quite
busily occupied, I assure you. And be in my peace, my son.
Student: Mother, I found this exercise quite difficult. As
I gazed upon this person who I sensed this feeling of resentment,
it kind of took on a life of its own. No matter how hard I
tried to express love to this person, I couldn’t get
through my own negative feelings. As I sat here allowing myself
into peace and not allow my mind to get caught up in the past
experiences I’ve had with this person and allow the
deeper sense of truth to prevail, there came over a sense
of calmness. I know I still have a ways to go with this individual.
Nebadonia: Find that place within yourself where your expectation
of what you want to accomplish is very high. (Pause) Breathe
into it. Allow me to proportionalize your own inner personal
expectations with how you view this individual. (Pause) When
you are ready you may speak to me with what you notice as
the difference in both yourself and in your feelings of releasing
these judgments and resentments. (Pause)
Student: What I come to understand is how rigid I saw this
person. How rigid I hold myself and the high expectations
that no one can really, let alone this individual, achieve.
The density seems to be lighter.
Nebadonia: Now the question to ask yourself is: when will
I allow myself the freedom to be where I am and to allow others
to be where they are? You have high ideals and this is commendable.
It will serve you well. But as we have said to you many times
in the past, it is not just the goal you are striving to attain;
it is mastery along the way. How can you truly enjoy yourself
along the way with these stringent expectations? Make this
easy on yourself, my son. Allow us to release you from them
and you will find more freedom and much more exquisite levels
of friendship with others along the way.
Student: I can see that and feel that. Also in the sense
that if I have these expectations, I am expecting something
in the future instead of living now and to breathe freely.
Nebadonia: Allow what you have received tonight to go deep
within you as your Father and I build these new ideas in you.
(Pause)
Student: Thank you very much for awakening me to this.
Nebadonia: You only have to ask, my son. It is always given
to you. Be in my peace.
My children, how hard you try! How much you expect of yourselves!
And yet we understand. As we take you deeper into this journey
of healing your brothers and sisters, what you will find are
more places within you to love yourself, heal yourself, enjoy
yourself. And that you will have the dual blessing of feeling
this love for yourself will so bountifully bless you with
the joys of loving others. You have all shared that you want
to be vessels of love. And so we have answered by teaching
you these ways. Practice them everyday as best you can. In
time they will become the highlight of your day and you will
do this without thinking. The many gains you will receive
will be the joys of self-forgetfulness, the capacity to live
presently, enjoying life as it should be lived, and paving
the way for new ideas and methods of living on this beautiful
world.
Breathe in our love. Breathe out our peace. We are always
here with you. And so it is. Good evening.
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