MOTHER SPIRIT NEBADONIA -- JUNE 21, 2004
Prayer: Mother and Father, we thank you for this opportunity
once again to gather in your presence. Open us, fill us with
your love that heals and knits us into your image. We are
so humbly and deeply grateful. Receive our appreciation and
thanks. Amen.
Good evening, my beloved children. This is your Mother Nebadonia
who speaks. Over the last several weeks we had begun to open
your minds to a greater awareness of ministering your Father’s
love to our children. Tonight, after this lesson and experience,
I would ask that you share with one another the experiences
and the attempts you have made in beaming your Father’s
love into your brothers and sisters. There will be many who
will be witnessing your discussion. And you will also be impressed
with other ideas to consider as you share these experiences
with one another.
For now, go within. Ask your Father to come forward in your
mind’s eye. Feel his heart beat in unison with yours.
Allow his hand to open your heart, the heart that wishes to
share his love with your brothers and sisters. Feel your desire
to share this more fully with them and notice where you feel
resistance or tension. Ask for my breath to soften and help
you yield to your Father’s love. Let us move in you
now, children. (Pause)
Bring to us now your petty judgments and resentments and
those traits that you find so irksome in your fellow brethren.
Ask us to remove that which you find so annoying in others
that is still within yourselves. Bring these to us now and
we will help you step outside and into something better. (Pause)
What have you to lose in allowing these to be released from
you? There is deep resistance to letting these go. Long have
you struggled with them and yet they are still somewhat comfortable
in you as a way of protecting yourself against injury and
misperception. But clearly they have no purpose or use in
you now. I ask you to offer them more fully to us. And so
your mind is willing but yet there is something deeper in
you that still resists. Let us come into this resistance,
my children. We will open you and teach you our ways to perceive,
to understand, and to love as we love. (Pause)
The years of judgment have been unkind in your body. They
have turned you away from being in your Father’s presence
and to receive more fully the breath of life that I bring
into you. Tell your body that you no longer wish to hold onto
them; that they are poison and you need the antidote of forgiveness
and compassionate understanding. Allow us to come into your
cells to release you from the years, habits, and inclinations
towards judgment. (Pause)
In your mind’s eye, allow yourselves to sense an individual
whom you have found particularly difficult to understand or
forgive. Whether it is yourself or another person is not important.
Simply acknowledge that you have judgment in the way from
fully being able to see this individual. Ask your Father to
come into your mind and heart with his love. Ask me to soften
any judgment that you may perceive. (Pause)
As you perceive this individual and begin to feel the resistance
in yourself softening and the desire to love and serve this
individual grow, ask for your Father’s love to go into
that place where this person is in pain. You will not necessarily
know where that is, and it is not important that you do. Simply
in your intention direct your thoughts towards this place
where this person has been hurt. Project your feelings of
compassion and love also into that place. Allow your Father
and me to move in you now. (Pause)
Ask your Father to take your hands and to bring them into
that individual’s heart center. It is not necessarily
significant whether or not you sense this at this time. We
are opening new doors within you to perceive what your brothers
and sisters need. Simply offer your hands to your Father and
ask your hands to be implanted in that person’s heart
and to hold that individual’s heart with love and tenderness
as you allow your Father’s love to flow, filling you,
running through you and into that individual. (Pause)
Simply continue to stay in your intention to be a conduit
of love and healing for this individual. Feel your desire
for this person to grow strong and healthy in Michael’s
love. As I move in this individual through you, sense your
own strengthening. (Pause)
Finally, ask for my breath to knit you and this person into
a deeper relationship, one where the defensiveness and judgments
are yielded to mutual respect and understanding. Ask your
Father to guide you to greater fraternal relations with this
individual, that you are reflecting him in your thoughts and
words to this individual as you interact. (Pause)
When you are ready bring to me your comments or questions
about this evening’s experience and how to more graciously
minister your Father’s love to your brothers and sisters.
Student: Mother, at the beginning of the exercise the person
I was focusing on was me. But then I noticed that I wasn’t
in as much emotional pain as I used to be. I changed focus
to a friend of mine who is a lot of emotional pain right now.
And I wanted to hold her heart in my hand and let Michael
heal her. I noticed there was an element of self-interest
because this person is a friend of mine, and I couldn’t
really get rid of the self-interest; like I was doing this
for my own benefit. I don’t quite understand it. I felt
I really didn’t belong there because…how am I
going to beam Michael’s love into other people if I
have a self-interest that seems to take me into selfishness?
I did notice that in the process of beaming Michael’s
love into other people that when it’s a stranger there’s
no problem. But when it’s one of my family members or
friends there is self-interest in it. Do you have any comments
on that?
Nebadonia: Yes, that this is entirely normal. The stronger
the tie you have with this individual, the more you may feel
that your own agenda is interceding in what you want for this
individual. This is something I would ask you to draw attention
away from at this point. Simply state in your mind that it
is “no longer important for me to be concerned with
how this affects me.” Simply ask for Michael’s
will to prevail for this individual and for your relationship.
You will still feel self-interest for a time. But you are
becoming more emotionally detached from this person’s
inner pain when you use this idea of wanting your own ideas
for this person to prevail. And you will need to notice and
do this many times over until your interest in this person
is in total alignment with what is truly really in that person’s
best interest. You will not know what that is.
In trying to assert your own self-interest you are essentially
trying to determine, or you have figured out in your own mind,
that what you know is best for this individual. This is not
the case. Only the Father knows what is best. So as you sense
this self-interest, feel your desire for it to go and simply
state clearly in your mind that it is no longer important
for you to attain this level of involvement in this individual’s
life. Call on me, and I will soften you. When you feel the
resistance and interest begin to yield, then you will know
that things are moving toward alignment of your Father’s
will. Do you understand, my son?
Student: Yes, thanks, Mother. It’s very clear now.
I was mistaken that I was polluting the healing process. I
don’t think it is. I don’t think it can be.
Nebadonia: I would ask you to eliminate this word from your
vocabulary. As you grow more attuned to service, so will your
capacity and desire become less self-absorbed and more self-forgetful.
If it is your desire that the Father’s will prevail
in your life and in your service, then you have no need of
concern that any of your own self-interest will upset the
apple cart, so to speak. Simply focus on your true heart’s
desire for the Father’s will to prevail in this individual’s
life in all things and all ways. When you feel the resistance,
I will be there to soften, and then more love and healing
can proceed from there. And make this simple for yourself.
Do you have any other questions or need for clarification,
my son?
Student: I can’t think of any at the moment. Just thank
you for softening my various feelings and resistances I have
inside myself. They are lessening. Thank you very much.
Nebadonia: Be in our peace. You are very much loved, C. We
are always with you.
Student: Mother, when you asked us to think of someone who
is really suffering and needs help, I thought of a friend
of mine who I have been praying for a lot because he always
seems to be right at the top of that list. This is a poor
individual who is suffering so much and is so hard to get
along with that he has no more friends, very much alone. I’ve
even had to ask myself why I continue to see him. I came up
with the realization that he has a very good heart. He means
well. He is a kind of person that if you were stranded alongside
the road at 2 AM and everyone else is driving by, he would
stop to offer help. I try to keep this in mind because his
personality is such that he literally drives people away.
I don’t mean this as any kind of a judgment at all,
just a description. At one in the same time he is somewhat
of a parasite insofar as he for years never seems to give
back as much as he takes. At the same time he seems himself
as a victim always. He has this terrible reputation of being
both a mooch and an insufferable whiner. Yet the suffering
is real. So many people think it’s a technique of his
to get more, but his suffering is real and intense. Now he’s
at a point of terrible health and at war with all the people
around him. I’ve been trying to follow Michael’s
advice and just listen, and be there for him without trying
to change his behavior or help him see himself as others see
him which is always too painful. I don’t know that this
is working but to me this is what Michael says is the best
thing to do – to listen and to sympathize with his very
real pain.
Nebadonia: Describe your experience as Michael took your
hands into this person’s heart and the love flowed from
your Father into you into this individual.
Student: Very much the same as when I pray for him. I feel
it’s doing good, and on a level that he himself is probably
not conscious of. Oh, maybe he is conscious of it because
in the last couple months he has made some very courageous
decisions of suspending certain medicines. He’s very
heavily medicated for the pain he’s in constantly. He
had a very courageous choice of foregoing some of that medicine
and enduring more pain in order to be more clear in his mind.
That was a wonderful choice he made. I had a feeling that
when he told me that it might be the strength I’ve been
pouring into him have done him some good; and of course Michael’s
counsel encouraging him to be clear of mind in spite of more
pain.
Nebadonia: Offer your hands to your Father now, my son. (Pause)
Ask for them to be filled with healing, comfort, the capacity
to soothe and soften. As you spend time in your stillness
with this individual praying, take your hands into this person’s
heart, and with all of the fervent desire that you have for
this individual for his healing, offer your hands to your
Father to be placed into this individual’s heart and
ask for these gifts that we bring into you to go right into
his pain. And you will not know where the pain is, and it
is not necessary. But ask for it to go right into the pain
and stay there as long as you feel the energy move and your
focus and your desire stays strong. I ask you to do this several
times a day for him over the next several weeks. Tell him
that you are praying for him. Tell him that you are desirous
for him to be healed of his pain. That is all you need to
do. If you are ready to go into another phase of healing with
him in a few weeks, I will address you personally on this
matter. Would you be interested in exploring that with us,
my son?
Student: Very much, Mother. I think the pain he feels psychically
in his relationships with other people is probably even greater
than the physical pain he feels. I will pray for him have
more wholesome and supportive relationships with his neighbors.
Nebadonia: For now simply pray what I have suggested. More
in time will be added. Keep this simple so that the necessary
re-weaving of Michael into him can be maximized during this
time. Do you understand this, my son?
Student: Yes. Thank you. I will do it.
Nebadonia: And I know your heart is pure to help your brother
and your desire is commended. Be in our peace and love, my
son.
Student: Thank you, Mother. Thank you for the gift of my
wonderful teacher.
Student: Dear Mother Nebadonia, what came up for me was an
incident I had in a half-way house with quite a few individuals.
It was easy to be comfortable with them, easy to learn to
like some of them. I thank you for that and I ask you for
any help in handling that type of a larger group.
Nebadonia: The exercise of this evening was to go into the
realm where you sense judgment and resentment towards individuals,
an individual in particular. The orchestration of group dynamics
is something that we will not be addressing for quite a while
to come. For now it is important and imperative that your
encounters one on one with people be as spiritually fragrant
as possible. In order for this to occur, it is our desire
for you as our children to learn those fraternal relations
that will make you as charming and as harmless and as effective
as possible.
It is important that you actively go into the areas where
you hold judgments and resentments and to actively seek to
disengage yourself from them with our help. I ask you to re-visit
this experience and share with me when you area ready what
it is you notice or perceive as you ask your Father to come
into, and for me to soften, you in how you perceive this individual.
Take your time; we are with you. You may speak when you feel
you are moved in the direction of understanding and love.
(Pause)
Student: There was one individual that came up that was difficult
for me that I’ve known for quite a while. It’s
a matter of dropping any kind of strong feeling, also an urge
at the same time to try to give some kind of feedback or social
correction. I just don’t seem to have the skill for
it. Over time the hard feeling seems to banish almost like
with a child. I feel that I do need help with certain individuals
so these resentments do not crop up even for a moment.
Nebadonia: As you re-visit this lesson as you read the transcript,
pay close attention to the exercise. Sit in that place of
stillness and practice this many times over during the course
of the day. I would encourage you to keep this lesson near
and dear to your heart over the next several weeks as you
strive in your service attempts to become more effective.
This will give you deeper skills at ministering that you have
not yet tapped into, but you have every potential to fully
utilize. You must be free from those attempts to judge other
individuals based on what it is that you have perceived, and
to be in a place of openness about who is this individual
from your Father’s perspective. What we have shared
with you this evening will be a tool for you to take this
next step and make you more serviceable to us. Will you now
consider this, my son?
Student: Yes, I will. I will try very hard to do that.
Nebadonia: Do you have any other need for clarification?
Student: I think that will be OK for tonight. Thanks.
Nebadonia: There is one area in your mind that is still hovering
some question. It is not necessary to voice that. Allow me
to enter so that I may loosen some of the rigidity with which
you hold this idea. (Permission given, pause) V, my son, you
have many wonderful qualities and talents. Use your skills
and insights to love, only love. Lessen your interest in assessing.
Feel your desire to love and let it outweigh the tendency
to evaluate. (Pause) Be in my peace as I weave you in my love.
Student: Mother, I have noted what you have said to each
person here tonight. I know that I need to learn from all
that you have said to these people. I feel this judgment and
resistance very strongly right now in my gut. It’s really
rigid and agitated. I feel my heart palpitating strongly.
It’s like a part of me is really resisting giving up
this judgment. Especially when I see people who are unwilling
to change themselves to make their lives better. I may pose
my assessments or suggestions. When they don’t get heeded
or implemented and when the same cycles keep on an on, I have
a hard time with that. I do try and allow myself to come from
that place of love. I feel that when I do make suggestions
that I am coming from that place of love from what I see and
perceive. Obviously, that’s not necessarily the best
thing for that individual or individuals.
Nebadonia: You know, my son, that we are taking you into
a realm of service ministry that is beyond words.
Student: I see that and can feel that more and more each
day each time I feel judgmental and react from that place.
I notice when I react from that place, they (whoever I’m
speaking to) react from that place. That goes nowhere.
Nebadonia: When you see the behavior that you find distasteful,
do not speak, do not suggest. Simply allow your Father and
me to guide your hands into that place where that person is
in pain and to fill it with love and comfort and healing.
You will practice this many many many many many times over
until it becomes instinctive and habitual. You are ready now
for this tool to be more fully functioning in your mind. It
will aid you tremendously in the future work you do with anyone
with whom you come into contact. To practice it in the intimacy
of close relationships will give you such insight and strength
and allow the focus within yourself to become so bonded to
Michael and his will for this individual. And I know you are
ready for this now. Are you willing now to turn off the voice
and tune into the heart more?
Student: I will definitely try.
Nebadonia: You will have much help by your side as you do
this. You are moving into another level of self-control. Where
you have control is in allowing yourself led with your heart,
the heart of love, that comes from aligning your will with
the Father’s will. The human mind does maintain a degree
of self-assertion, as you well know. Because it is difficult
to lose control, we are simply asking you to shift the focus
of where you are in control from speaking what your mind says
to speaking with your heart. In speaking with your heart,
you can do this silently, effortlessly, joyfully. And know
that the results that you see from this will greatly outpace
any adherence to the suggestions that you make, which may
only go into the mind at a very superficial level and not
take good root and grow. When you speak from your heart without
words: the language of love being planted in that individual,
that is where the seeds can grow in the healthy soil. I know
you well understand this, my son. Now it is time for you to
practice this until it becomes the most effortless activity
of your day.
Student: I remember reading some writing yesterday quoted
in the Course of Miracles. It was: “I choose peace,
rather than this in every situation I come across.”
So whenever I feel that pinch of judgmentalness and resistance,
I will choose peace, or greater, I will choose love rather
than this.
Nebadonia: D, you are being trained now for deeper service
and deeper healing ministry. You have asked for this and we
are setting the stage. As you find more joy and skill at mastering
this technique, as it were, you will find many things will
shift, not only in your internal environment, but in those
around you. So embrace this opportunity with gusto and know
there are many who are beside you to help you achieve great
success. Be in my peace, my son.
My children, how it pleases me that you would open yourselves
up for these resentment and judgment patterns to be realigned
in the ways of love and understanding. You may not yet realize
the significance of what it is that you are choosing in participating
in these exercises. As I leave you this evening, spend a few
moments now in quiet reflection and thankfulness for the opportunities
you have been given. Ask for a greater understanding for the
significance of these lessons to penetrate into areas of your
mind that have still yet to be opened to the truth. Your Father
and I will impress more of our ways into you. (Pause)
I bring his peace upon you. I weave my love within you. Share
with one another your experiences of beaming your Father’s
love into the hearts of your brothers and sisters as those
who are in attendance listen to you and minister to you more
of our ways. We hold you in the palm of our hands. You are
safe always in us. Good evening.
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